Being Lead to Who I Want To Be

learn to fly

As I have been striving to sow God’s way and rely more on His Spirit, God has been incredibly gracious in showing me how. It’s fighting to check and when necessary, shift my thinking. It’s easy to lose sight of the eternal when the present is so tangible.

Rom 8: 4b”[…] No we do not live following our sinful selves, but we live following the Spirit. Those who live following their sinful selves think only about things that their sinful selves want. But those who live following the Spirit are thinking about the things the Spirit wants them to do.”

Rom 8:14-15 “The true children of God are those who let God’s Spirit lead them. The Spirit we received does not make us slaves again to fear, it makes us children of God.”

Learning to let God’s Spirit lead has meant seeking the Spirit’s council daily AND following it. Actions are MUCH harder than words. It’s remembering that God reached out to me before I asked for forgiveness. Jesus forgave me before I acknowledged my offense. As a result, I must ask myself if I’m willing to lay down my self-protection and die to my pride daily, in order to hear Him clearly and allow Him to lead me, even through the scary places. It’s going to God in prayer in that very moment and asking for help. It’s clinging to His perspective and rejoicing in all that is good. It’s being tuned in when humility whispers, “You may not be right.” It’s being willing to yield and wait. It’s facing the fear I feel in the moment and bringing it before God, honestly and vulnerably asking for strength and courage to do what He calls me to, especially when I can’t see the how or when.

James 3:17 “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruit, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”

Seeking God’s wisdom has meant searching my heart and plowing through my shame to allow Him to help me through it in prayer and mediation on His word. His word has not failed to restore inner peace and enlighten my perspective. It really does give me strength. He reminds me that my earthly perspective is limited. I can’t see his plan yet but its there, before me, and He will reveal it in His own time. And it will be amazing. I can’t be afraid of what I don’t know. I must trust the God who does know. He knows all.

Ps46:5 “God is within her she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

I will not be transformed back to my 15-year-old-helpless-feeling-self when a senior colleague at work belittles me. I will not forget how to breathe in a moment when I need to press ahead yet feel overwhelmed. He will give me the words I need to advise and council others if I ask. He will help me to be more measured in my responses. I will be ok, because God is holding me, from the inside.

Ps 16:5” No, the Lord is all I need. He takes care of me. My share in life has been pleasant; my portion has been beautiful. I praise the Lord because he advises me. Even at night, I feel his leading. I keep the Lord before me always. Because he is close by my side I will not be hurt.”

It’s scriptures like Psalm 16 that I hold onto when I want to take matters into my own hands. It’s such a sweet reminder that God has my portion in life and it’s beautiful even in the midst of a crapy life season. I can take a little pain and offense at the office. I can handle feeling like I’ve been misunderstood or treated unfairly. I can be content with God seeing my repentance even if others don’t yet. I can continue to pray honestly and openly to God about the desires of my heart because He desires to answer. I can trust His goodness and his timing. It’s not about my performance, it’s about His greatness. He does not hear my prayers more if I am behaving in a manner I think deserving of reward. He hears my prayers and answers when they come from a pure heart that is humble before Him, even when I feel unworthy or fall short in my righteousness. It’s not about the power of my prayers that moves God but the power of the one who I pray to. He draws near. As I lean into and wait on Him, he continues to work. Letting His Spirit lead means acting like who I want to be not who I am. When I put in the work, the harvest will be plentiful.

Is 43:19 (NET) “Look, I am about to do something new. Now it begins to happen! Do you not recognize it? Yes, I will make a road in the desert and paths in the wilderness.”


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